Saturday, November 7, 2009

Ebay's Blasted DSRs--I Hate Them!

So it begins with what should have been a relatively easy gallbladder removal. I had already been told by 2 GI specialists and a surgeon that it had to come out. I am not a fan of doctors or hospitals....especially surgery, but they convinced me that the situation was dire. Two separate HIDI scans could not even find my gallbladder as it was filled with so many stones. I didn't have a choice.

I am all set, get to the hospital 40 miles away at 6:30am, surgery set for 7:30am, they are telling me I'll be back home by 1:00 pm the same day. At 2:30pm that afternoon I open my eyes and all I could see were white lab coats with Critical Care embroidered on them. I shut my eyes and go back to sleep.....until the people wearing those white lab coats began to shake me, call my name, rub my shoulders, they didn't want me to sleep. I came to my senses enough to listen to the talk around me which included several critical care doctors, an anthestheolgist, my surgeon, and a host of nurses and other people I didn't know....and I immediately took a disliking to each of them. As it was explained to me I died several times on the operating room table, I simply quit breathing, and they continued to bring me back. Afterward, they could not get me out of the anesthesia. So they administered an anesthesia block and several breathing treatments to get me out of the anesthesia and it still wasn't working. Since it was now about 3:30pm I knew I would not be home by 1:00pm.

I was half dead, in pain, could not make my mind work well enough to carry on a simple conversation.....yet, I lay in my hospital bed worried to death about my DSR stars, especially my shipping DSR star. Not even death, nor how close I had come to facing it, or how badly I felt were thoughts that were a thousand miles away.... but my DSRs were first and foremost on my mind.

eBay has put the hoedy-doe, a curse, the evil-eye, a black magic spell on all sellers to maintain only 4s and 5s--or no 1s and 2s--within their star ratings. Instead of my being concerned about my lack of well-being, I was worried about my sales and not getting the items shipped that afternoon, or the next, or the next, or the next......or the next. Now tell me how insane it is that eBay has forced us to maintain a DSR count to the extent that nothing else in life matters. I know that's an extreme statement but it's true. I detest the DSR system of rating a seller and the horrible stress it places on us.

I came home four days later, on a Saturday afternoon, to several sales that should have already been shipped. Because it was Saturday I still could not ship until Monday. I wrote letters of apology and included a small gift in each package for being tardy with my shipping. I lost my Top Seller Rating Badge although my dashboard reflects that I still have it. I have talked with eBay twice to find out where the badge went that is supposed to show on my listings and they don't have an answer. So I will have to patiently wait until it pops back up again.....maybe next year sometime?

I learned my lesson the hard way about being prepared. I should have put my eBay store on vacation the week prior and I should not have had any current auction listings in the event my surgery didn't go as planned. Even though my doctors and surgeon assured me that everything was going to be just fine--that I would be home the same day, and that I would be able to function quite normally within 24 hours-- I quickly found out how wrong those doctors were. The moral of my story is this:

no matter what, if you are going to be out of place and know in advance, make preparations to put your eBay store on vacation. Do something with your current auction listings in advance. Do what you have to do to protect yourself in the event that some little something gets in the way of your plans. Those DSR stars *must* be the center of your universe or else you'll pay. In several different ways.

Oh eBay, how dare you spite my effort

With your DSRs, 4s and 5s

I'll keep a penny in my shoe

And hope that I'll survive.

You have mojo'd me with your insanity

That keeps me on my toes

An ounce of bat's blood, black and thick

Only I will know.

The curse you've put on your good sellers

Will return to you threefold

Your stocks will bomb, your metrics will melt

Your name, no longer gold.

For I am cursing you dear John

And all you've done to us

My simple spell will show its face

In one you dearly trust.

A lizard's tail, a slimy snail

A spell of witchcraft and voodoo

To you eBay, and your DSRs

And those blasted 1s and 2s


Beth Cherkowsky said...

DISCLAIMER!! This post is actually the work of our friend Pat Brown who sells as Nicaluck on ebay . She's just learning this blogging business so was hestitant to post this herself. I think she did damn good and I LOVE the curse on eBay. LOL TOO FUNNY

Kat Simpson said...

PAT - this is fantastic! Awesome read

Maria Soto Robbins said...

Very good advice! Glad Pat came out all right from the surgery and lucid enough to worry about her DSR's!!!;)


Earboysmommy said...

Good post, Pat, you should write more! We are very happy you came out of surgery and hope you are healing well. DSR's are a plague, especially if you're a smaller seller. All it takes is one quirky buyer and your dsrs can plummet by this one person, no matter how hard you've tried to please them.